Life, Love, musings, story, Women

I Look At You And I Am Home..!!

There Is no Subject on Which More Dangerous Nonsense Is Talked and Thought Than Marriage..!!

True to the words, the first year of any marriage is the hardest, and today we complete our bumpy one year ride..!!

I got married when I was 28, pretty late compared to Indian standards, if I have to be honest here I would say given the choice I would have still preferred not to get into it. My apprehensions were fuelled just because of the notions the society has thrust into the so called arrangement. Personally, I am married or not, my relationship is public or not, if I love you I will be committed to you, as simple as that, because to me commitment is one of the meanings love holds. I did not really require an occasion or an event or public announcement to proclaim my love for someone

I have known The Man in my life for 11 years now, we have crossed a decade, we have literally grown up together, I should say. I met him as a teenager and shared the journey with him to see the little boy grow into an adult, of course even now he comes with some childish whims and fancies, Men I should say 🙂 If you ask him he would tell the same, he has seen my worst, the complete package of me with my meltdowns, tantrums and tirades. We are comfortable with each other, or to put it more simple, we bear each other and obviously we enjoy being together and my best friend lives inside him.


Definitely we are not made for each other or we are not like minded people, but we enjoy the differences, that’s something I find interesting between us. I know he would think differently and I enjoy his perspectives. Being said all this when it came to a wedding and marriage, it was not a fairy tale.


A South Indian wedding is like a War, honestly too many opinions too many voices, at the end it gets all crowded and noisy and the wedding did not happen like how I wanted. If you ask me I definitely did not enjoy my wedding one bit, I was waiting for it to get over and to call it a day. With that to begin with and the obnoxious things people thrust into the newly married couple, it was not really a great start and I was frustrated during the initial months, the question I dreaded most was, ‘Hey how is your married life..!!’ It was worse than ‘When are you getting married.??’


I wanted some time and space, to acknowledge what I have gotten into, and in between that every expectation on me was like needle on my seat. When people told I have a new family now, it made me miss my parents more and I ended up thinking too much of where do I belong now. My In-laws were still like aliens to me, for someone strong headed like me it was hard to give in and the new responsibilities of having a proper home and other expectations on my back was daunting.

One step at a time and I believe in everything gets better with time, after the initial drama of newly married and ‘I have to preach to the new couple phase’ started to fade, I found my life back, having responsibilities doesn’t come with being married it comes with being an adult, and now I enjoy having responsibilities its a way of being independent which is who I am. Today if you ask I don’t mind being married, all I care is winning the “you turn out the light..!!’ and ‘What are we watching tonight..!!” squabbles 😛

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved , loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves

Somewhere between the movie nights, burnt chapathis, midnight drives and road fights we are building our marriage brick by brick, one down and more to go 🙂

From yesterday’s faded dream,
We are a never ending story..
Sit by my side for the night,
For we have a long way to go..
We might find us or get lost,
But I look at you and I am home..!!
-Mathu

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